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Everyone else my age is a grown up, and I am just pretending. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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RIP Trace [Dec. 3rd, 2006|11:04 pm]
RIP Trace, one of the most beautiful and amazing women who I have had the upmost pleasure of knowing.

It doesn't feel real even though we've been expecting this for some time.

I just feel numb now... But that I was expecting too. I really don't know what to do with myself. What is there to do?

Trace has people who loved her all over the bloody WORLD, I wish we could all be together tonight. But we are together in spirit. And I raise my newcastle broon to you granny, thank you for being in my life.xxxxxx
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OW OW OW! [Nov. 28th, 2006|06:39 am]
For some stupid unknown reason, a year on, my philtrum piercing has decided to become infected... been doing eveything right, salt water, savlon spray, mouthwash, ice cubes...but OW. Woke up this morning and face is even more swollen than it was yesterday. Nevermind trying to save my favourite piercing, I just want the thing out, I can barely talk, but my lip is so swollen I can't even see the metal inside my mouth...it really really hurts and I can't even take it out!! Arrrgghhh.
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A little bit freaked out.... [Jul. 14th, 2006|08:57 pm]
And also very very tired!

Went to a free bar event between 6pm and 8pm last night, and although I drank quite a lot, it was not enough to be that wasted. I'm seriously freaked out the more I think of it - I have actually lost at least 2-3 hours, and it's very rare I have memory loss from alcohol, even in large quantities, and certainly not that much memory loss. My only conclusion is that my drink was spiked, as it was table service for some of the night and so I didn't actually see the drinks made...

I'm seriously freaking, as I'm really not sure where I was!
I seem to be in one piece, with a couple of slightly worrying cuts and bruises, and a lot of confused texts from nice people who I rang and probably scared/irritated when I realised I could not get home.

It's frankly very worrying, embarrasing, and horrible.

And yet I still made it to work this morning. Which makes me worry even more in a way, as I didn't feel as hungover as I should have done, which makes me worry I was spiked even more. And I will never know what happened in those 3 hours!

In other news, everythings really busy, which I love. Got a million things to do though and a million emails to reply to... thanks to everyone who has responded to my model request :) I shall get back to everyone shortly. Lots of other news, but I'm utterly exhasuted now, and desperatly need an early night in preparation for work tommorrow.
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Well, they did tell me it was all down hill from here.... [Jun. 25th, 2006|11:09 am]
[mood |crushedcrushed]
[music |Blackened Sky - Biffy Clyro]

We had to put Tess down this morning. :(

After 9 days of very little improvement, she had gotten a lot worse over night, and she was in a lot of pain. Got to go and see her, it just didn't look like her, she was retaining fluid which I still don't understand but she was very very swollen and it was horrible, she couldn't walk, and just kept whimpering.

She was only 7 years old, I really thought I'd have her for another 7....
I don't know what to do with myself, I feel so empty.
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Tess [Jun. 19th, 2006|11:26 am]
Her blood levels have dropped to 7 now, and she's having a blood transfusion today.
I'm really scared now, I don't know what to do if I lose her. :(
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What... [Jun. 18th, 2006|10:54 pm]
...do you not expect to see in your back garden, trying to come into your living room, on a quiet Sunday evening?

That's right, a ferret!!

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Where she came from, I have no idea!! But she was very, very cute, and I named her Bubbles. Unfortunatly she wasn't very welcome in the house except by me, and also I wasn't too keen on having her try and tunnel down my top, especially after realising she was a little flea ridden, hence putting her in the tortoise run for a little while.
Turns out some of our neighbours know someone who owns a ferret farm, so hopefully little Bubbles will be happy and safe in her new home. She was so cute!!
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Doggy update. [Jun. 17th, 2006|02:11 pm]
We rang the vets at 9am this morning to see how Tess was doing. It's not great - her red blood cell levels were down to 16, as opposed to 27 the day before, and a healthy level is between 35-55.
They wanted to get her to the emergency vets for 24/7 care, and they also wanted to give her a blood transfusion.
I didn't even know dogs could give blood... They have to be at least 10 kilos, and we kind of paniced, not actually knowing any other dogs at all really. Luckily the lovely vet found a lovely woman with a lovely great dane called Brian (I got to meet him, Brian rocks, although he did almost knock me over by just leaning on me) who was going to donate blood.
So we then had to drive Tess and some new Tess blood across to the emergency vets. Tess was a bit perkier when she saw us even though she had gotten a bit worse over night, but she still is very very much not herself. But she wagged her tail a little. :)
When we got to the emergency vets, turns out they didn't want to do the transfusion straight away. The vet was a bit worried that not enough blood had been taken, plus they wanted to see how the treatment goes over the next few days.
So, we have left her there for a few days. It was so sad leaving her. :(
Basically, all I can do now is wait. I'm very, very, very worried, obviously. But she still has a 50/50 chance. I figure the glass is half full... I really need to think positively, and not get upset, and I really have a feeling she'll get through this, and I just hope I'm right....
When she does get through this, she will be on steroid injections for the rest of her life, and her whole diet will need to change. But that's fine, I just need her to get through this.

She'll be in for at least 4-5 days (I really hope she's out before my birthday), and they advise we don't visit, in case she thinks she's coming home. I figure this is for the best too, as much as I feel bad leaving her there, I know she is being looked after, plus not only would it upset her, it would upset me!! Not to mention the fact I've already had to lose 3 shifts at work because of taking her to the vets already, it's quite a drive across to see her, and I'm working til 9pm the first few days of next week.

Thanks to everyone who has sent me nice words and support :)
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My dog... [Jun. 16th, 2006|05:32 pm]
[mood |sadsad]

Is really ill.
We took her to the vets this afternoon after she'd not eaten for 2 days and barely moved, and after discovering she had a rather high temperature they did some blood results and found out her red blood count was way too high.
Then we just had a phone call an hour or so ago to say she's got some weird disorder thing where her body is attacking her own red blood cells...
They've started treatment straight away, but she only has a 50/50 chance of getting through the weekend. And if she does, she'll be on treatment for the rest of her life.
Suprisngly, I'm pretty upset.
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decadence [May. 28th, 2006|03:46 am]
cocksucking wankstains the lot of them!
oooh but the amusement

tomorrow i will be sober.

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Surreal is... [May. 24th, 2006|12:28 am]
...coming home very tired from a gig, and 2 drunk Essex people carrying an ENTIRE drumkit home on your bus.

Unfortunatly, I was sober, alone, and too tired to enquire as to WHY the fuck this was but just to prove I'm not going COMPLETELY mental, I took a snapshot to prove I was not hallucinating:

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It's been a great few days, had some good luck, saw a lot of old friends, had a lot of hugs, a lot of good chats, met some lovely new people, created some new mega metal, saw some great bands, took a lot of other photos that shall be posted at some point in the future, met the most suited to each other and cutest couple ever, and it's mostly all coming together.

But that's another story, and after SLEEP. :)
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